Reading Body Language in a Negotiation

People often ask me about body language during our negotiation training programs. Is it really possible to read what is going on in the other person's mind based on their body language? It depends.

There's no question that we rely heavily on body language for a substantial portion of our communication. However, reading body language is tricky. For example what does it mean if somebody is sitting with their arms crossed in front of them? I think most people would say that they are closed and not interested in hearing what you have to say. And sometimes that's true. But I know a number of people for whom that is simply the most comfortable way for them to sit. Or, it could mean they're cold.

I remember once when I was once doing a presentation for a potential customer. There were four or five people in the room and as part of my presentation, they asked me to demonstrate a short portion of my training program. So I launched into a brief section on the Settlement Range. Midway through, the chief decision maker leaned back, sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. How am I doing?

Well it didn't look too good. But with body language you never know until you know. So I figured, I didn't have anything to lose so I said, "Fred, I noticed you just had a reaction to what I said. Is there anything I can elaborate on?" "Oh no, it's just that I bought a car last week. I wish you had done this for us last week." How was my presentation going?

Not bad. So with those large body movements such as leaning back or crossing your arms, you need to be careful because they may not mean what you think mean.

That's not to say that we can't get information from somebody's body language. It's usually the small, unconscious movements and body positions that reveal the information we're looking for. However, in order to know what you're seeing, you have to know the other person. Once you get to know somebody, and get to know how they react and move in different circumstances, then you have some shot at more accurately reading their body language.

Keep in mind however, if the other person is a good actor, he or she will make sure that body language is consistent with the message that they are trying to send, even if that message is part of a bluff. In such a situation, if you read their body language, you may simply be reading a false message.

Copyright © by Michael Schatzki - 2005. All rights reserved

Michael Schatzki is a master negotiator who, for over 20 years, has provided negotiation training and coaching for thousands of people in the U.S. and globally.

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